Being Present

Our practice of mindfulness, especially our formal meditation practice leads us to eventually work with two gaps. The first is the gap between stimulus and response and the second is the gap between our beliefs and our actions.

Committing to a formal mindfulness meditation practice and practicing moments of mindfulness as we go through our days leads to a wider gap between being triggered and how we act when triggered.

Most often our response to triggers, places where our emotions ambush us and want to drive our behavior, is one of reactivity. Before we are even aware of what is happening we have acted, usually unconsciously and habitually, and usually unskillfully. Often, the next immediate moment is one of regret.

Reactivity – unless it is to prevent a child from running into traffic – will usually result in some form of harm.

Becoming mindful and aware of what is happening in the moment – being aware that we have been triggered – leads to a momentary pause where we have choice. We can chose to continue the pause, to not react at all, or to chose a more skillful response. When we chose to respond rather than react, we have met and used the first gap more skillfully. We have reduced reactivity and chosen a response rather than reacting in a harmful manner.

It is in that moment of gap between stimulus and response, we also have the opportunity to come into greater alignment between our beliefs and our actions. The second gap that many of us experience daily makes itself available for a different choice of behavior.

We all hold dearly beliefs about how the world can be, and how we want to be in the world. We believe our selves to be and strive to be loving, kind, generous, non-harming, and astute individuals. Yet, how we react when our emotions ambush us, demonstrates how we can lose the tether to those beliefs and values.

In the moment of gap, we can make the choice to act in accordance with our beliefs and values. We can chose to be compassionate, kind, generous, non-harming, and thoughtful – more in line with our beliefs and values. We can practice skillfulness in responding. We can notice impact and repair as needed. We can keep our human connection and strengthen the relationship.

We can opt to be the compassionate, kind, generous, non-harming, and thoughtful person we believe ourselves to be in action. And, right now is the only time we can be that. In just this moment, in the gap between trigger and action, we can shrink the gap between belief and action.

As they say in Portugal, as you are boarding or leaving the train cars, “Mind the gap!

Use your mindfulness training to grow the gap between trigger and action. Use that gap to shrink the gap between belief and action.