Being Present

A body scan meditation is often the first one taught. We teach it first because we, especially those of us in the western cultures, tend to be cut off from our bodies. We spend much of our time in our heads and miss many cues about how events in our lives are impacting us until the cues get so loud as to overwhelm our systems.

Our bodies are the way into our lives.

Our bodies let us know when we are hungry, tired, thirsty. When we have cut ourselves or when someone has hurt us physically or emotionally. Our bodies let us know when we are remembering something painful, or agonizing over a future event. Our bodies let us know joy, sadness, contentment, restlessness, and fretfulness.

Unfortunately, the messages have to get really loud and insistent before we pay attention.

I learned first hand about how I don’t listen to and pay attention to the body’s messages recently. It was at an 8 day silent mindfulness retreat none-the-less. And on the first sit of the whole week.

I sat on my cushion just as I did everyday at home – at least I thought so. Not long into the meditation practice, I began to have pain in my left sit bone area. This was when my ego got in the way – a blog for another time. Rather than moving or adjusting my posture, I continued to sit in the same position. As the time wore on, the pain got worse. And my ego persistence to not give in and master the pain continued to push me to sit still. The longer I sat, the more the pain grew, and the larger area of my legs and hips was involved.

So much for attending to my experience through mindfulness.

I am coping with that pain to this day. I injured the nerve and muscles enough to cause a chronic condition of bursitis and I am still doctoring and recovering.

This has led me to immerse myself in more body awareness practices, as well as more mindfulness practices related to the body, in order to avoid a repeat experience.

Through these new practices, I am learning how to recognize passing pain and chronic pain. I am learning how to let go of tension around the pain (and other parts of my body). I am learning how to manage the amount of exertion I put into things in order to avoid doing more damage, simply by tuning into my bodily sensations, and listening a bit more closely.

My intention is to become more aware of my bodily sensations in order to avoid a repeat of the injury. I can only do it with the body scan practice and mindful movement practices.

Slow and easy wins the race. Still recovering . . .